For Parents

Parents are a critical part of each student's college application process. Whether or not they acknowledge the fact, your sons or daughters will rely on you for advice and support (emotional and financial!). The College Counseling staff understands that the investment you will make in your child's higher education is an important one for your family, and we will work with you and your student to make the process a smooth and successful one.

Beginning in 10th grade, we offer evening programs for parents and students through which we share information about college admission. Several times each year, we publish the College Clipboard, a newsletter with information ranging from deadline reminders to feature stories on financial aid. We hope you will review the materials we provide, and encourage your students to read them, as well.

The college search is a student-centered, with supporting roles played by a wide array of adults in the student's life: college counselor, teachers, coaches, and, of course, parents. Here are some do's and don'ts for parents that may make the process easier:

• DO stay involved. Attend as many group meetings and individual conferences as you are able. The College Counseling staff welcomes your input.
• DON'T be what in the media has been described as a "Helicopter Parent," the kind that hovers over the student, the college counselor and the admission office at every step. Avoid statements like "We're applying to State U." At the same time, it is not wise to be a "Satellite Parent," out in orbit, too far away to be helpful. Overseeing the application process for your child is a good idea; running it for him is not.
• DO ask questions. A well-informed parent is a tremendous ally!
• DO listen to what your son or daughter wants from the college experience. Remember: it may not be what you would want for yourself, but may be exactly right for her or him.
• DO accompany your student on campus visits, and share your impressions with him or her (trying not to let your impression overshadow his).
• DO be realistic and open-minded about your child's college opportunities. While much has been made of the importance of attending a highly selective institution, not every student is able to or should even aspire to do so. The "best" college is the one that fits your child's needs the best.
• DO have an honest, open discussion about the role finances will play in the final college choice.
• DON'T wait until the last minute to inform your student that you cannot afford his first choice college.
• DO complete financial aid forms on time.
• DO enjoy what is an exciting (though sometimes stressful) time in a senior's life!

Suggested Reading for Parents

• Looking Beyond the Ivy League, Loren Pope
• Colleges That Change Lives, Loren Pope
• Colleges Unranked: Affirming Educational Values in College Admissions, Lloyd Thacker, editor
• The College Admissions Mystique, Bill Mayher
• The Gatekeepers: Inside the Admissions Process of a Premier College, Jacques Steinberg
• Getting In!, Cohen and deOliveira
• The Insider's Guide to Colleges, The Yale Daily News
• Selective Guide to Colleges, Edward Fiske
• Playing the Private College Admission Game, Richard Moll
• The Public Ivys, Richard Moll
• Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age, Daniel Kindlon
• Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger